Morning Piss: Shia's a Schmuck

Shia LaBeouf PacificCoastNews.com

You’ve heard, right? The L.A. district attorney has charged others involved in Shia LaBeouf’s midsummer car crash, just not him. Let’s see, even though S.L. was reportedly not entirely sober, it’s the other car’s passengers who get nailed (for lying about who was driving, apparently). That’s a good one.

Is all of this because LaBeouf was taken straight to the hospital for treatment of his banged-up hand and refused a Breathalyzer test in the process? Gosh, and were some other nasty field-sobriety tests somehow forgotten, office of the district attorney, can you explain that one? Uh-huh. And is this so ‘cause he’s famous or rich, or both? Love how these nobodies who hit LaBeouf get hit with the blame when, seems to me, LaBeouf’s driving abilities certainly may have played a part in the degree of the accident, regardless whose fault.

And isn’t it the law to be tested for such alcohol culpabilities whenever you drive in the state of California? Yep, believe so. But I guess, like I said, perhaps not for the rich and famous and still young? Like, screw Heather Locklear, ya know, ‘cause she’s over the hill, and let’s just take camera-phone shots of her while she’s down, Mr. Coppers.

But Shia’s gonna be at the box office this weekend, go Team Double-Standard! Let’s not even get into how hard-partying Shia’s complaining that much of this nastiness is the press’ doing, not his, I’m already about to puke.

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