Marc Malkin

ABC

Did Felicity Huffman really hit 11-year-old Rachel Fox while shooting last Sunday’s episode of Desperate Housewives—and will the slap come back to haunt her during the upcoming two-hour season finale?

Either way, Rachel ain’t spillin’.

But no need to call Child Protective Services. It was all part of a day’s work when Huffman’s Lynette Scavo smacked her evil stepdaughter, Kayla, played by Rachel.

When I asked Rachel this morning just how real the slap was, she laughed, “Did it look real to you?”

When I told her it did, she simply said, “Good.”

And that's not the only thing she's clamming up about...

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W Magazine

No need trying to figure out when Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend will tie the knot.

“I always knew that I didn’t want to get married,” Theron, 32, says in the new issue of W magazine. But she adds, “I’ve always known that I’d be a mom from the time I was a little girl.”

As for their seven-year-romance, Theron, no surprise, won’t reveal too much. When asked to describe the relationship, the Oscar winner adopts a “cavewoman grunt,” according to writer Gabriel Snyder, and says:

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Spreegirl

PANTY PARTY:  Lauren Bosworth, Lauren Conrad and Stephanie Pratt, picking up some Spreegirl underwear at the Wango Tango concert gift lounge in Los Angeles.

IRON STOMACH:  Milo Ventimiglia, carrying a bag of Baja Fresh into Century City AMC movie theaters in L.A. for a showing of Iron Man.

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PacificCoastNews.com,Todd Williamson/WireImage.com

Janet Jackson was at last night’s opening of Alexander McQueen’s new store in Los Angeles. So were Balthazar Getty, Eve, Anthony Kiedis, Ioan Gruffudd and Sex and the City hunk Jason Lewis.

But the spotlight was definitely centered on Beth Ditto and her band, Gossip.

The singer's five-song set was hands-in-the-air fun! She wore custom McQueen: a form-hugging red sequined bodysuit (later changing into a rainbow colored butterfly-printed chiffon number); she swiped cigarettes from fans so she could smoke while singing; she grabbed a photographer’s camera to take some pics and even climbed on top of a very unsteady table to rally the crowd to sing along with her.

But even the 27-year-old has her limits...

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Polk Imaging/WireImage.com,Karl Larsen/INFPhoto.com

UPDATE: I just heard back from Montag's rep on why she wasn't at the party.

Two words: "Not invited."

________________________

Photo-opportunists Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are no-shows at the Hills season finale party happening right now at a private mansion in Beverly Hills.

That's weird, right?

“It’s not weird to me,” Lauren "L.C." Conrad told reporters as she walked into the party.

Conrad also insisted she had nothing to do with it one way or another. Montag's missed big parties for the MTV hit series before, including one in L.A. and another in NYC.

“I have no control over the guest list,” Conrad said.

But Pratt's sister, Stephanie, is in the house...

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X17online

MAN’S BEST FRIEND:  Armed with a water bowl, Pete Wentz, who is rumored to be getting married to Ashlee Simpson this weekend, taking his dog for a walk in L.A.

BIG DADDY:  Chris Noth, shopping for baby products at Pavilion's in West Hollywood on the same day that Sex and the City premiered in London.

MOTHER OF ALL BRUNCHES:  Charlize Theron, having Mother’s Day brunch at Comme Ca in L.A. with her mom, stepdad and boyfriend Stuart Townsend.

BAND AID:  A very pregnant Tori Spelling, picking up a Belly Bandit at the Silver Spoon Dog and Baby Gifting Suite in L.A. along with a men’s Gita Manny diaper bag for hubby Dean McDermott.

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Lora Voigt/ZumaPress.com

Teri Hatcher isn’t the only Desperate Housewives star yearning for a music career.

So is Andrea Bowen.

Bowen, 18, says she’s going to start recording some tracks this summer. “I’ve been a singer since before I was an actress,” she said at Friday’s Step Up Women's Network awards luncheon in Beverly Hills. “It’s something I’m exploring and playing with and having fun with.”

She’s still looking for her sound. “I don’t really know for sure what route I’m going to go down,” Bowen said. “Right now, it’s kind of all over the place.”

Hatcher, who plays Bowen's mom on DH, was a surprise performer during "Idol Gives Back" last month, singing a cover of Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats.”

—Additional reporting by Laura Lane

The British tabs are barking: Owen Wilson has popped the question to Kate Hudson and sealed the deal with a mongo diamond ring.

But reps for both stars insist otherwise.

"Not true!" Wilson's publicist tells me. Adds Hudson's rep, "She is definitely not engaged."

As for Ms. Most Beautiful's mystery bling, the true story is revealed in my videoblog above.

INFphoto.com

PRETTY WOMAN:  Halle Berry, stopping into the Kinara spa in West Hollywood.

THREE AMIGOS:  Ron Howard and Brian Grazer, chatting with Brett Ratner at the Simon Wiesenthal tribute to Sony prez Amy Pascal at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills.

SUPPER TIME:  Hugh Grant and Bianca Jagger, hosting a 60-person dinner with GQ editor Dylan Tyler to celebrate the opening of Apsleys restaurant in the Lanesborough Hotel in London.

AFTERNOON DELIGHT:  Hilary Duff and boyfriend Mike Comrie, enjoying lunch at Macelleria in New York City before doing some shopping at the Adam boutique in the Meatpacking District.

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GQ Magazine

Miley Cyrus isn't the only one posing for magazines in a bedsheet. British GQ has Gwyneth Paltrow on the cover, and the inside shots of the Iron lady show her in nothin' but peekaboo lingerie like slips, bras and garters.

This is as risqué as gets, but still the mother of two remains a target of the tabloid press.

“I’m not going out without my knickers, and I’m not getting drunk and I’m not on my eighth husband,” she tells writer Johnny Davis. “Sometimes they have to drum up a lot of controversy over nothing.”

The only thing we can accuse Paltrow of being is, well, boring. I mean, she’s cooking family dinners and even recites pasta recipes from memory.

What's next—hosting Tupperware parties?

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Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage.com

Julia Roberts and her kids having playdates at the park with Victoria Beckham and her brood?

It could happen.

I hear the Oscar winner and Posh Spice got along famously at the Costume Institute Gala in New York City on Monday night.

“They hit it off right away,” a source close to the new pals tells me. So much so that it wasn’t long before the two moms were sharing family pictures. “They were showing each other photos of their kids,” my source says. “They were just laughing and sharing mommy stories.”

Mrs. Becks certainly has made herself at home in Hollywood. Roberts is just the latest addition to an A-list roster of friends that already includes Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Eva Longoria Parker and Kate Beckinsale.

Lisa O'Connor/ZumaPress.com

REESE’S PIECES: Reese Witherspoon, picking up a pair of jeans, a shirt, a blouse, a belt and a clutch at Martin + Osa in the Century City Mall in Los Angeles.

SINFUL CITY: Minka Kelly and Pink Taco owner Harry Morton, taking in Oscar de la Hoya’s recent fight in Las Vegas.

BRAND NAME: Forgetting Sarah Marshall star Russell Brand, shopping at the Grove in L.A.

CLUB KID: Jake Gyllenhaal, buying some jeans and sweaters at Club Monaco in Santa Monica.

SAY CHEESE: Casey Affleck, eating pizza with son Indiana August at Village Pizzeria in L.A.’s Larchmont Village neighborhood.

HOFF DADDY: David Hasselhoff, wearing a track jacket emblazoned with the word Deutschland while shopping at L.A.’s Beverly Center mall.

HORSING AROUND: Hugh Hefner and the Girls Next Door, hitting the Crown Royal Playboy Lounge Party at the Kentucky Derby while Adrian Grenier, Bode Miller, Greg Grunberg and Nick and Drew Lachey hit In Touch Weekly’s Budweiser Select bash sponsored by Pama liqueur and ProFlowers.

BIG SPENDER: Chris Evans, tipping the bathroom attendant at the Green Door in Hollywood $20 while partying with Jeremy Piven, Chris Pine and Shane West.